23rd Nov 2022, 4:53 AM

Average Rating: 5

Rate It:

interact Donate Ko-fi TWC-vote Twittr Discord

Author's Comments:

Reply Edit Delete -JoKeR-, 23rd Nov 2022, 4:53 AM

Yes I did it ...

User's Comments:

Reply Edit Delete Kevin_Redcrow, 23rd Nov 2022, 5:02 AM

"Ehhhhhhh? Where'd he go?"

Reply Edit Delete -JoKeR-, 23rd Nov 2022, 12:57 PM

Yeah... where could he be?

Reply Edit Delete Chains, 23rd Nov 2022, 6:21 PM

Right, fight scene analysis because I cannot help myself.

Guard notices the attack in time and reacts. So far so good.

BIG spinning move from Reju, which is... suboptimal to be honest.
Despite their flashyness and the sense of power they visually invoke, spins don't actually add much force to a strike. What they do however, is waste a lot of movement and thus TIME, which is always critical in a fight.

Guard blocks, stick breaks, so far so good.

Reju relocates, in a manner I can only describe as SOMEHOW, and I will assume this is meant to communicate the confusion the guard feels because barring the kind of speed that would have ended this fight instantly, this maneuver should not have worked.

More spinning, this time with jumping straight up in the air, which got its own set of problems, namely that it locks you into a predictable movement path that you can't meaningfully alter, and restricts the ways in which you can react to any counters coming your way.
Remember, if you need to jump in combat you want to go for horizontal distance, not height.

Pedantry aside, the scene has a very good flow to it, and it is very clear to the reader what is going on, already putting it above some "profesionally" published works.

It also has the added bonus of making me look like an insufferable, know-it-all arseweasel, so yeah, very good scene.

Reply Edit Delete -JoKeR-, 23rd Nov 2022, 8:21 PM


Reply Edit Delete Kevin_Redcrow, 24th Nov 2022, 4:08 AM

The guard is facing Reju squarely with his feet spread apart.

Could he have slipped between the guard's legs?

Reply Edit Delete -JoKeR-, 24th Nov 2022, 8:42 PM

or he could have moved in a angle with a hard break at its apex and then jumped?

Reply Edit Delete Kevin_Redcrow, 24th Nov 2022, 8:44 PM

He certainly has the speed and reflexes to do it that way.

Reply Edit Delete ShadyLithand, 25th Nov 2022, 4:35 AM

That kid can move

Reply Edit Delete Bakersfield, 28th Nov 2022, 9:43 AM

Nothin fancy
Just hit em in the happy sacks and he'll drop like a ton of bricks

Reply Edit Delete -JoKeR-, 30th Nov 2022, 3:40 AM

looool ... but would it be pleasing for the eyes?